Huddersfield 2006
The journey North felt like it was a happening in slow motion, I was once again the shy young lass who’d ran away to London to start a new life over 40 years ago. To say I’d run away was perhaps not the best way to describe the situation. My Father had gone to great lengths to help me settle into my new life, he’d found me a nice place to live and helped me land a job.
“I know I have to face Mum now because to just arrive at the funeral unannounced would be extremely rude.”
“You have to do what you thinks’ best babe, I’m only a phone call away or I could wait outside the house if you prefer.”
It was times like this Tracie loved Alfie the most; he gave her the support she needed, without interfering.
Something seemed to have alerted the street of my arrival the neighbours were all staring out from behind their drawn curtains and a group of youth’s eyed up the car. It’s not often one see’s a Bristol, especially not around here. Alfie opened the door for me, and I give him a reassuring smile as I got out of the car, (he’d been worried the whole journey bless him).
As I walked up the path I notice Dads old Hillman Minx. For a moment I was lost in my thoughts, looking at the car and remembering back, as I turned towards the house Mum came marching out, she smiled briefly before bursting into tears. “Tracie darling” she sobbed, we met half way and embraced, before going indoors to lay a few ghosts to rest.
I took a seat near the fire as Mum went into one. I knew how Alfie must have felt when my Mother in Law broke the news to him that David St John was his Father. He must know how I felt that day, and the reason I left the two of them together in our Cottage in London, and went up West for some retail therapy with Heather.
“So was your precious career worth losing your family for Tracie?” “I never lost touch with Dad or Darren!” I’ll never forget the look Mum gave me, a mixture of sadness and hatred “You broke my heart when you went away, how do you think it felt losing a Daughter on her eighteenth birthday?”
“I was given the opportunity to study in New York when I was sixteen, you stood in my way by refusing to sign the consent forms to let me go.” I could feel my stomach churning and my hands becoming clammy.
“I was worried about you, this is where you belong, Huddersfield, you might think you’re better than us now, but you’re still just a working class Yorkshire Lass” I fixed her with a stare and let her know what I thought of her petty prejudices.
“I didn’t want to have to live hand to mouth all my life, nobody deserves that.”
She looked straight at me at this point, and the anger drained from her.
“Let’s not argue anymore, your Dad would hate it if he could see us now, he insisted on keeping your room just as it was when you left, and as for that old car out there, he kept that in tip top condition until he got ill. I was always on at him to let it go but he saw it as a part of you, a reminder of that day you started your new life. I do care Tracie, that’s why I didn’t want the reminder that you’d left us.”
There was an uneasy pause at this point, before the conversation became more civil. Now we talked about everything from the weather to Darren’s girlfriend and their new baby.
She became quite subdued when talking about the baby.
“He thinks I accept it but I just can’t it’s not right, but neither’s driving your child away, believe me I learnt that lesson the hard way. “Dad must have told you I can’t have kids, Emma is your only hope of a Grandchild.” Mums face melted into a smile and she gave me a big hug. “You turned out lovely Lass, maybe the big city in’t that bad after all.”
I remember Dad telling me he’d bought a new car straight after dropping me at the station that day, and put the Hillman in my name. I never collected it because I too wanted a part of me to remain in Huddersfield. It’s ironic really, having married a Savile Row tailor most of our tailored clothing is woven from Huddersfield cloth; it’s the best there is. “I’ve things to do now Trace, we can start again tomorrow.”
I felt reassured as I left the house, Alfie was leaning against the car deep in conversation with the local youths, still looking the dapper young Mod I fell for on the night of my eighteenth birthday. We never did tell Heather we’d realised she’d set us up. I’ll have to phone her at the shop, she’ll be worried about me too.
Something seemed to have alerted the street of my arrival the neighbours were all staring out from behind their drawn curtains and a group of youth’s eyed up the car. It’s not often one see’s a Bristol, especially not around here. Alfie opened the door for me, and I give him a reassuring smile as I got out of the car, (he’d been worried the whole journey bless him).
As I walked up the path I notice Dads old Hillman Minx. For a moment I was lost in my thoughts, looking at the car and remembering back, as I turned towards the house Mum came marching out, she smiled briefly before bursting into tears. “Tracie darling” she sobbed, we met half way and embraced, before going indoors to lay a few ghosts to rest.
I took a seat near the fire as Mum went into one. I knew how Alfie must have felt when my Mother in Law broke the news to him that David St John was his Father. He must know how I felt that day, and the reason I left the two of them together in our Cottage in London, and went up West for some retail therapy with Heather.
“So was your precious career worth losing your family for Tracie?” “I never lost touch with Dad or Darren!” I’ll never forget the look Mum gave me, a mixture of sadness and hatred “You broke my heart when you went away, how do you think it felt losing a Daughter on her eighteenth birthday?”
“I was given the opportunity to study in New York when I was sixteen, you stood in my way by refusing to sign the consent forms to let me go.” I could feel my stomach churning and my hands becoming clammy.
“I was worried about you, this is where you belong, Huddersfield, you might think you’re better than us now, but you’re still just a working class Yorkshire Lass” I fixed her with a stare and let her know what I thought of her petty prejudices.
“I didn’t want to have to live hand to mouth all my life, nobody deserves that.”
She looked straight at me at this point, and the anger drained from her.
“Let’s not argue anymore, your Dad would hate it if he could see us now, he insisted on keeping your room just as it was when you left, and as for that old car out there, he kept that in tip top condition until he got ill. I was always on at him to let it go but he saw it as a part of you, a reminder of that day you started your new life. I do care Tracie, that’s why I didn’t want the reminder that you’d left us.”
There was an uneasy pause at this point, before the conversation became more civil. Now we talked about everything from the weather to Darren’s girlfriend and their new baby.
She became quite subdued when talking about the baby.
“He thinks I accept it but I just can’t it’s not right, but neither’s driving your child away, believe me I learnt that lesson the hard way. “Dad must have told you I can’t have kids, Emma is your only hope of a Grandchild.” Mums face melted into a smile and she gave me a big hug. “You turned out lovely Lass, maybe the big city in’t that bad after all.”
I remember Dad telling me he’d bought a new car straight after dropping me at the station that day, and put the Hillman in my name. I never collected it because I too wanted a part of me to remain in Huddersfield. It’s ironic really, having married a Savile Row tailor most of our tailored clothing is woven from Huddersfield cloth; it’s the best there is. “I’ve things to do now Trace, we can start again tomorrow.”
I felt reassured as I left the house, Alfie was leaning against the car deep in conversation with the local youths, still looking the dapper young Mod I fell for on the night of my eighteenth birthday. We never did tell Heather we’d realised she’d set us up. I’ll have to phone her at the shop, she’ll be worried about me too.
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